I've tried some counseling, but in Utah... We'll just say it's hard if not impossible to find a therapist that isn't religious and, by consequence, doesn't bring Jesus deep into the conversation (I know this is sort-of the non-religions forum, but this really does apply here).JulietEcho wrote:You might want to seek counseling (one-on-one, not couples counseling) to help evaluate exactly how you feel and what you want, because you sound unsure.
I don't think we're really built for serial monogamy, it seems to me that most people will pursue as many relationships/sexual encounters as possible while still expecting monogamy of their partners. But maybe I've just been supersaturated in pop culture.Huxley wrote:But humanity being what it is, jealousy sets in and/or resentment. We seem to be built for serial monogamy so I can fully understand how you can devote your feelings of love to more then one person at any given time.
I couldn't have put it better. I'd also like to add that you don't have to have partners with identical needs to make a relationship work - like hoverFrog said, he doesn't have the degree of jealousy his unwife has, so if she ever wanted to experiment, perhaps he would give permission (and maybe even be turned on) - but it's a different story for hover to do anything outside the relationship, because it falls outside the bounds of what both partners are comfortable with.hoverFrog wrote:I strongly believe that cheating is considered so bad by many, not because of the sex you have with someone else but because of the breaking of a trust. In a typical monogamous relationship they trust one another to be exclusive and you break this trust when you cheat. If there is permission then there is no betrayal of trust.
I actually read an article awhile back that I currently don't have a link to that showed some animals were actually more wired to engage in polygamy than others, so perhaps it's a biological thing? The study was only done on non-human animals, but perhaps some people are born with more of an inclination to polyamory than others like how some people are born gay and some people are born straight?Chal wrote:I don't think we're really built for serial monogamy, it seems to me that most people will pursue as many relationships/sexual encounters as possible while still expecting monogamy of their partners. But maybe I've just been supersaturated in pop culture.
In any case, go with what works. I don't think I could deal with polyamoury all that well, though.
Where would you say your conscience comes from? Why would your conscience make you dishonest about your one night stands?Woody wrote:That's why I'm honest about my one-night-stands and don't have a conscience.
JulietEcho wrote:I honestly don't care whether polyamory is ever given "marriage" status - what I care about is equal tolerance. I want to be seen by society as, if not "normal," then at least "tolerable" or "acceptable." I want equal respect. ...
For instance, if we ever have kids, I want to make sure that, should my husband and I both die in a horrible car crash, our kids wouldn't be handed over to my parents - that they'd go to our boyfriend's custody, where they'd belong - with their other dad.
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